I'm mad as hell. I HATE HATE HATE it when the first solution to a problem with a girl is to do what she's doing to me. As in, ignoring a girl that ignores me. While on the one hand it actually accomplishes keeping me the hell out of her way so that I cease to be corrupted by said harpy, on the other hand I'm going crazy because I want to TELL HER OFF. It's like trying to ignore a loaf of bread. The bread can ignore you indefinitely. It's BREAD. But after a while, you want a damn sandwich and so you talk to the bread.

Well.

You know what I mean. I hope.

You know, I think this post is really just an excuse to use the word "harpy" in context. And I love wacky metaphors.

So you know those feelings you get every once and awhile? That leave you stunned, gasping for breath as your head spins; Those feelings that quite possibly leave you feeling the most empty, and at the same time, the most fulfilled. When your team wins, against all possible odds. When you run so fast you feel like you're flying. When you dive into water and the sun hits your face as you're surfacing, blinding you but warming you as well; taking your breath away.

Can a person give you that feeling?

Can the very fact of their existence snatch your breath away, and make your heart flutter? Can seeing their face again for the first time in...forever... remind you of the old aches you had for every step they took past you? Sadly enough, it's that feeling that permeates me since I saw her face again last semester.

It's strange.

She has no idea who I am, so I have to begin the process all over again. From start to finish. From the awkward beginning, to the friendship that felt so right, to the point I left off at nearly five years ago. Can I do it? Can I take that giant leap into territory I've tread and retread already, failing not because of any mistakes on my part, but because of uncontrollable circumstances?

Hell yeah. Let the feeling empower me. Let it strengthen my resolve. This time will be different.
Now, in other news:

I did not expect my first post to be like this, honestly. It was to be thought-provoking and highbrow, filled with scathing rhetoric and razor-sharp wit. Turned out to be, as always, mournful and longing. Ah well, I'm sure it'll be different next time. You just think about what I said.

We Have Go, Over.

This is my first official post. Enjoy it. It's made at 5 am, and I have school in 3 hours. Fuckdamn yes.

I'll actually post something relevent when I get the damn time.