It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

So after I scathingly reviewed the ill-received Indiana Jones 4, (seen here) I felt immensely better. It was a tremendously cathartic event, I must say. I mean, really. Really. It actually felt physically GOOD to trash that movie. The movie tickled my rage glands in a way very few others could possibly conceive of. (Try not to dwell on that too long.) I thoroughly enjoyed tearing the hopes and dreams of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg into tiny little snarky snippets of scathing commentary. For a brief second, I knew what it was to have no soul; like Roeper, Maltin, or Shalit. And I ENJOYED it. Being negative and derogatory towards other people's creations is what powers the dark soul machines of Pop Culture, and I felt no qualms about adding fuel to the fire!
So please believe me when I tell you that I've joined the ranks of the born-again, for it is no small matter for me to be able to watch a film and not utter a single disgusted sigh at the movie's weakest moments. Not one whimper or groan, ladies and gentlemen. Not a single roll of the eyes flickered across my face. I made very few noises (Except for girlish squeaks of excitement several times during the course of the film. For personal reasons, we will not explore why), very rarely took my eyes from the screen, (And only then to blink), and walked out of the theatre in a state of stuporic shock after this movie. I'm really only now able to sort most of what I witnessed out in my mind, and I saw this bloody movie FOUR DAYS AGO.
You may have realized by now, that I speak of The Dark Knight. You, dear sir or madam, are correct. I can honestly say, with no guilt (or potential awkwardness when I see past favorite movies at parties and have to avoid looking them in the eyes) that The Dark Knight is the best movie I've ever seen. I have no complaints. The nine dollar ticket was fully worth it. The stupid, gum-snapping, shite-mouthed tart sitting next to me was worth tolerating just to watch this movie. What I'm trying to say is that this movie was pure CANDY RAPE FOR THE EYES, EARS, AND SOUL. (And if you don't like candy rape, then I don't want to know you.) I mean, there's something for EVERYONE here!
Do you like “Magic Tricks”? Oh, then you'll love this movie.
How about a guest appearance of one Dr. Jonathan Crane? Ole' “blue eyes” Murphy does not disappoint, even for the five or six seconds he's actually onscreen.
Want exciting chases between a wall-flipping, truck-tripping, superhero on a cannon-toting motorcycle and a psycho, RPG-wielding clown? You'll find it here in spades.
Think Gary Oldman is kind of a loser? Wait til you see him play the shotgun-toting Jesus of Gotham City.
Think Rachel Dawes is the worst character in the series so far? What? No? Is that just me? Well fuck you anyway; She DIES. (I promise you though, you WILL care that she dies.)
Want to see one of the best tragic heroes portrayed by “Thank You for Smoking” Aaron Eckhart? Want to see that hero slowly descend into villainy in one of the best portrayals of a grief-stricken madman I've ever witnessed? God, the bitterness practically oozes from Two-Face in this movie. You sympathize with him the entire way through the movie, then you feel betrayed by his fall, then you slowly realize that in the end, the Joker actually beat everyone by manipulating that character.
Do you often fantasize about Christian Bale in any role, but particularly like his gruff-voiced Batman? (Seriously, the dude sounds like he gargled razor blades to voice that role.) You'll appreciate his once again stellar performance as Gotham's Dark Knight. I mean seriously, they will be hard pressed to ever, EVER find a better actor for Bruce Wayne/Batman. Oh, so many reasons I loved this movie. So many reasons I could gush about for hours with anyone sentient enough to tolerate it. But really, in the end, only ONE reason made this the incredible cinematic romp it is.
Heath.
Motherfucking.
Ledger.
The Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime. The Killer Comedian. The singlemost important villain Batman has ever faced and will ever face. Fuck Jack Nicholson's interpretation. Heath Ledger, for the final, best performance he would unfortunately ever complete, became the Joker. Didn't just act as him. BECAME HIM. Haunting, hollow stringed notes accompany every appearance of the Joker. Dark looks, constantly licking lips, and evil, predatory smiles are a constant companion for Ledger's Joker. There are moments where you laugh at his antics as a nurse or as he cackles in glee over his fallen adversary. There are moments when you actually get the feeling Ledger descended too far into the psyche of a chaos-minded psychopath. And then there are those moments where he is terrifying.
“LOOK AT ME!” He roars. You can't help but shudder.
“WHY SO SERIOUS?!” He snarls. You recoil.
He actually breaks the fourth wall, becoming the real comic book villain. He is the number one reason I love this movie as much as I do, and the world has truly lost a brilliant actor with his passing. He pulls the role off perfectly. There's no laughing gas. No smiling fish. No backstory even. He doesn't need one. Just the portrayal of brilliant chaos from a shattered, evil mind...
And a cackling laugh that will, I promise, chill you to you bones.